Quirks of Life in the PRC

Let me share a few quirks and idiosincrycies of Chinese culture with you:

- Apparently, for some unknown reason, it is very popular with the young Chinese guys to grow out the fingernails on the thumb and pinky, while keeping the others trimmed neatly. I'm talking like 1/2" to 1"+ long! These things are sharpened and kept handy should the need for a pocket tool arise.

- Somewhat related, there is one fine young man who has made it his life mission to grow the longest set of mole hairs ever in the history of earth. He has a cluster of about half a dozen 4-inchers hanging off the side of his face.

- In a show of typical Asian politeness, our hosts always insist that we are the first to try some new food. After all, they are buying it for us and it would be rude of them to do so and then hog all the food. From the western culture standpoint, we would hope that they will go first so that we can know that said item is palatable and safe.

- There is an unwritten rule that says something to the effect of, "Keep the food as fresh as possible and prove it to the customer." This is usually accomplished by a showcase of fish tanks and animal cages when you walk into a restaurant. Also, if possible, keep the head on whatever meat you are serving to let you know it was 'real.'

Whachoo lookin' at, pigeon?

- It is common for people to randomly belch out loud at the dinner table. No one bats an eye. Even the women do this.

- For some reason, no one thinks twice about throwing fruit trash on the ground, wherever they may be. This morning, I saw a crowd of people walking on a street with about 30-40 banana peels strewen randomly up and down the street. Walking up the steps in the factory today, I noticed these funny pieces of debris on the stairs - lychee skins and pits! Ever heard of a trash can anyone?

- Ahhh yes... The Chinese toilet - if you can even call it that. Hope your quads and hammys are in prime shape for the squatting marathon. Fortunately, there are also Western toilets in about 75% of the places I end up going to. Of course, when faced with the chance to have a new life experience... Let's just say that I have developed a surefire way to survive this experience. It all boils down to Pants Management and Height Control. There's no nice way to say this, so please, be an adult about this. Pants around the ankles are a recipe for getting whatever is on the floor onto your pants. Not cool. Pants must be bunched around the knees for optimum protection. In general, but for guys especially, aim is of the utmost importance. Squat height - Too high and the trajectory and splash are uncontrolable. The continuous clenching of the quad muscles at this height is also problematic. To low and you might make contact or worse, fall in. Unfortunately, the exact height must be determined with trial and error. Good luck.

Which would you choose? Take the one on the right, and the story ends. . Take the one on the left, and you stay in Wonderland and find out just how deep the rabbit hole goes.

- As if this situation wasn't bad enough, most bathrooms do not have toilet paper in the stalls! Make sure to bring your own, just in case.

- As you may remember from before, I have not stayed at a hotel yet that leaves an iron in the room. But every hotel makes sure to set out a nice pair of slippers for you.


By the way, a special shout out to my brother Jeff and my good friend Brent. Thanks for calling my cell phone and waking me up at 3:30AM and 5:30AM. You guys are the best!

Peace out for now.