Keller in the Caf - Making The French Laundry's Lobster Macaroni and Cheese at Work

So, I promised a colleague at work a homemade lunch something like a year ago. But between the busyness of work and home, I kept putting it off. As the months (and months, and months...) passed by, I grew tired of getting "the look" every time I ran into this guy, so I decided to finally make due on my promise. I was on the hook big time, so I wanted to blow him away. I needed to come up with something extraordinary - maybe even, something French Laundry-esque.

Chances are that you, like me, probably haven't had the chance to eat at The French Laundry (for those of you living in a cave somewhere, I'll simply say that TFL, under the helm of celebrated chef Thomas Keller, is considered the best restaurant in the US, if not the entire world). For "regular people" like me, missing out on this experience is probably best for the wallet, but yet incredibly disappointing. But all is not lost.

I recently picked up Keller's French Laundry Cookbook, which was published almost 10 years ago (I know, I'm a bit late to the party). The book is an unquestionable masterpiece, a treatise on modern culinary technique and thought. Keller describes and details the food as prepared in the restaurant - no shortcuts. He offers advice to help guide the home chef when things get complicated, but never are things dumbed down. Of course, this means that unless you have a contingent of sous chefs working for you, cooking from the book is generally time consuming and meticulous. And sourcing raw ingredients of the level of quality that these dishes demand can be quite expensive. But in my brief experience with the book, it is absolutely worth it.

Don't just take my word for it, though. One of my favorite reads these days is Carol Blymire's abmitious French Laundry at Home blog, where the self-described "nutjob" (hey, she said it) is blogging her way through this book with the goal of executing and chronicling every single recipe contained within. The impressive thing is that she's not a trained chef - she's just a regular Joe, er, Jane. Recreating French Laundry food at home is something to aspire to, but why stop there? Why not take it all the way to the office cafeteria? I intended to do just that.

This presented quite a logistical challenge. I wanted my food to be first quality - that is, it would have to taste like it was just made, not like leftovers or reheated slop. The thing is, there is limited equipment in my office cafeteria (that I have access to, anyways) for actually making real food. Here's what I had to work with:

1. Microwave
2. Fridge
3. Butter knives
4. Running water

Well, that rules out quite a bit right off the bat. I suppose I could have made something cold, or a sandwich, but that just didn't sound that exciting. Hmmmm... And then I remembered coffee time. Huh? I keep an 8 cup french press in the office for making coffee... with boiling water that I get from the cafeteria! So that means...

5. French press
6. Boiling water

My thoughts kept drifting back to 3 magic words from Keller's book - butter poached lobster - which is featured in several French Laundry preparations. Because it's not exposed to high heat during the poaching process, the muscle fibers do not tighten and sieze up, making the lobster uncommonly tender and soft. With a French press and some hot water, I can essentially poach the lobster on site in the cafeteria. No, not directly in the french press, as you might be thinking. Sous vide, of course! Now which dish to choose...

The most amenable to cafeteria cooking (and, I have to say, most appealing to me in general) was the "Macaroni and Cheese" or, (deep breath now) Butter-Poached Lobster with Creamy Lobster Broth and Mascarpone-Enriched Orzo (exhale - ahhhh). Just kind of, um, rolls off the tongue. Anyways, I figured that the lobster cream and the orzo would nuke just fine, and besides the lobster, there were no other elements that would require heating.

Before we start, let's be realistic about this - there's needs to be substantial prep work done at home to make this possible. But it was indeed assembled and plated in the office cafeteria, much like what would be done in a restaurant. I should point out for all of you book owners and Keller afficionados there are a couple of minor liberties with the dish I chose to take. For one, I wanted to include some type of vegetation, and I happened to find some nice pea sprouts in the grocery store, so I adapted that element from the "Peas and Carrots" dish a couple of pages away. I also left out the Parmigiano crisp. Sue me.

Steep the Lobster, Before - Hello little guy. No animals were hurt in the making of this ... Ah, screw it. Who am I kidding? Nice knowing you! Pour vinegar seasoned boiling water over your lobster off of the heat.

Steep the Lobster, After - The lobster has now been submerged for 2 minutes. This par-cooks the flesh just enough to allow it to release from the shell. Time to get this thing out of there and pull the meat before it cooks too much. Make sure to save the bodies for the stock.

Harvest and Vacuum Pack the Meat - The meat has been removed from the shell, cooled, and vacuum bagged with some butter. It's only partially cooked at this point, so it can be more or less treated like raw meat. Must be kept in the refrigerator.

Prepare the Lobster Cream - This photo is skipping waaaayyyy to the end of this process. Let's see, make a stock out of the chopped up lobster bodies, strain it, reduce it by half, add cream, reduce it by half again, and strain again. Cool and pack in a microwaveable (is that a word?) cotainer. This is about a 2 hour process, but the taste was, well, I can't think of a superlative that is strong enough to convey how good it really was. Just incredible.

Par-Cook the Orzo - Boil orzo in salted water, but remove while still crunchy. Rinse under cold water and drain. Pack in a microwaveable container. Keeping the orzo crunchy here will ensure that it does not turn to mush when reheated later.

Pack the Supply Kit - Lobster meat in vac bag, lobster cream, orzo, mascarpone cheese, pea shoots, meyer lemon zest, salt, and olive oil. Bring to office and place in refrigerator until service time.

When the time comes, find a space to set up your meez. This may be tough, especially in the middle of the lunch rush.

French Press Sous Vide Lobster - Since the lobster meat is already partially cooked, it only needs to be warmed through. I mixed boiling and tap water until I thought it felt right (about 120-130F, if I had to guess), dropped the vacuum bag in, and lowered the plunger to keep it submerged. I refreshed the water mix after the butter had melted and let it sit for a few minutes while prepping the other components.

Final Prep - Make the pea shoot salad. Combine the pea shoot greens (cut off excessively long stems), some salt, and the lemon zest. Dress with olive oil. Next, microwave the lobster cream and orzo to heat up. Stir together and add in the mascarpone. By the time this is done, the lobster should be heated through.

Plate Dish - Place a mound of the orzo mixture in the center of a the plate. Remove lobster from bag and place on top of orzo, tail first, then claw on top. Top with pea shoot salad.

At the risk of blowing my own horn, this was a spectacular success. The lobster was beautifully tender and flavorful, and that orzo... Makes me want to cry just thinking about it. Happy tears, of course. Not only did I win rave compliments from my colleague (actual quote "this might be the best meal I've ever eaten"), but I also managed to create quite the scene in the bustling cafeteria. No doubt people will be talking about this day for some time!

Now for some dessert. How about, ho hum... French Laundry donuts?

These better be good, since the dough takes a couple of days to make. The moisture in the dough is primarily egg yolks, so it has a nice richness to it.

These look fantastic, and they tasted even better. This is really bordering on ridiculous now. Just incredible. The beauty of these is that they freeze well, and taste freshly made after reheating in a toaster. Just use the bagel toaster in your cafeteria, if you have one.

Just ask yourself - why should you settle for cafeteria slop any longer? With a little know how and some pre-planning, (and the proper motivation, I suppose), you can eat incredibly any day of the week.